It’s that time of year again!

The Oscars are this Sunday..who better to tell you how to get drunk during them than a guy who rarely drinks?

^^ Total lie FYI

 

Sip:

• When “City Of Stars” wins Best Original Song because: “Drive It Like You Stole It” AND “Still Falling For You” were totally ROBBED of a nomination
• Someone trips
• Emma Stone wins
• Emma Stone wins AND makes ZERO sense in her acceptance speech
• Isabelle Huppert wins
• Isabelle Huppert wins and you have NO CLUE who she is
• Casey Affleck doesn’t shave

Take a shot:

• Because Amy Adams was snubbed for Best Actress
• Because Meryl Streep WASN’T snubbed  for Best Actress
• Every time someone makes fun of Trump.
• Every time someone makes a political statement
• Every time Jimmy Kimmel doesn’t get a laugh
• Sting performs that song from a movie no one saw
• Someone says “Hidden Fences”
• Someone cries

Chug:

• When the show runs mucho overtime
• Someone gets played off stage by the music OF DEATH
• When “La La Land” wins
• When “Moonlight” upsets “La La Land” for the Best Picture prize
• When “Hidden Figures” goes home empty handed (unfortunately)
• When the show FINALLY fucking ends

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