I chatted with comedian Paul Mecurio about our Italian families and what he’s been up to since “The Late Show” ended
You have a show coming up at Rams Head Annapolis…
I’m gonna be going back and talking about what’s been happening in my life. About the surgery, how “The Late Show ended” and other things. I’ll be begging for money after the show. I’ll be selling organs at the door. I LOVE Rams Head. We sold it out before and want to sell it out again this Saturday, November 14th
How do you have to handle having to be politically correct with your comedy?
The political correctness pendulum swung one way for a while. People were getting overly sensitive and looking for things that weren’t there. It bled into the world of comedy. People trying to censor comedians or even walking out of their shows. I think it needs to swing back to the middle and it kind of has. I’ve never been a comedian to be politically correct just to be inappropriate. It feels like a twelve year old saying “FUCK” a lot. I think political correctness has it’s place, but I think people need to read into what people do.
My wife and I were walking our dog in Central Park; you’re supposed to have your dog on a leash, it’s the law. This guy had a big dog, off its leash, scaring people with little kids around. My wife nicely said “your dog should really be on a leash; there’s kids around.” He says “Why because it’s a pit bull?” With a tone and an attitude like we’re racist against pit bulls. That’s kind of where we are. I think the comedians job is to push back on that. My problem is I do that in real life and I get into confrontation.
Once I was in a cab and the driver stops, rolls the window down, and tries throwing his orange grinds through the passenger side window into a garbage can thirty feet away. He misses because he’s not in the NBA, he’s a cab driver. He’s about to drive away; there’s something in me that’s triggered. I say “You can’t just throw your trash out the window; get out and pick up the oranges.” He looks at me in the rearview mirror and gives me a little giggle. “What?” I said “No I’m not kidding, get out.” “What’s the big deal?” “We live in a city, we have to co-exist.” I’m losing my mind at this point. So he gets out and throws them away properly. He was really pissed. When we got to my destination, my cab fare was $12.50. So I gave him exactly $12.50. He goes “What no tip?” I say “No, you’ll just it to buy more oranges.”
You just had some surgery. What happened?
Yeah, I just had some surgery on my bladder. I’m doing OK. Part of it was bladder control issue; which was weird. My whole goal in life was to be housebroken like a dog. Speaking of which, my very unempathetic wife, would hit me in the nose with a rolled up newspaper if I had an accident.
That’s racist against Italians.
::laughs:: Thank you very much! Spoken like a true Italian.
When you leave the house it’s usually “Wallet, keys, phone” but for a while it was “Wallet, keys, phone, Depends.” But I’m good now.
I don’t know about you, but being home all the time, Amazon is like crack. You just go on there to buy stuff you don’t need.
I have a compulsion of finding groceries I buy, not InstaCart, but Prime shipped because it’s so much cheaper than the store.
Right! We do that too. When I was recovering, and I was getting bored, I would go on Amazon and just scroll. Next thing I know, I’m buying 64 ounces of wolf urine because you just never know when you’ll see a deer in New York City. And then I track each shipment like it’s Christmas morning. “Why is it the package in Albequerque?!!”
I’m Italian, I got a thing about my food. You’re Italian, you know. Was food a big thing in your family?
When I tell you Sunday dinners were SEVEN courses.
Yeah! We would have this big family dinner; seven or eight courses, every Sunday. My uncle Archie had a professional meat slicer in his basement. “It’s gotta be fresh!” he would say. He would serve fresh cut Mortadella. How did that get invented? “Hey this bologna looks too healthy? Let’s put hunks of fat in it!”
I took my wife, then girlfriend in high school. She’s eating wayyy too fast. By course five, she’s like Rocky being slammed by Apollo Creed. We leave and she goes “That was really nice but why was everyone yelling at each other the whole day?” I tell her “That’s how we talk!”
How were you feeling as the “Late Show” ended?
It was like a nine month funeral. It was like the slow death of a show. Stephen and I were backstage one day during one of the last shows, and we were talking about how this is the death of Late Night. When Kimmel goes and then Fallon goes, that will be it. We both felt gratitude to be part of something that is ending; we got in under the wire. Then he started crying and I had to hold him ::both laugh::I did the warmup for the last show and it was like trying to do comedy at a wake. The after party was like two hundred people posting their resumes on Indeed.
We had to re-do the finale when we sang “Hello Goodbye” a few times because Paul McCartney was off key. I had to really coach him at his singing.
You should’ve had Ringo.
You know what I’m saying? Liev Schreiber was..I had a run in with him. He played Chuck Webner (the real Rocky) in a film and I played one of his entourage guys. Fast forward to the Emmy’s that year and he walks in next to me at the urinal. I saw him and said, with my you know what out, “I was watching you in bed last night!” It came out ALL wrong. So we took a selfie at the urinal.
Before I let you go, I have to ask you about your son. He’s getting more independent. How do you feel about that?
I remember when he thirteen months old, he started to walk. He would walk ten feet and then stop. Walk ten feet and then stop. I thought he was going to be a security guard when grew up. When he got older, he said he wanted to set boundaries. A week later, he asked me for four thousand dollars to pay off his credit card bill. I told him “sorry, I have boundaries and I can only five you fifty bucks.” This isn’t just a kid thing, but people don’t want to talk anymore. I call him on the phone and it rings and rings and rings. So I text him and he responds within a second. The little shit had the phone in his hand the entire time. He screened my call! I’m your father, not a telemarketer, asshole. Pick up the phone!
Paul headlines Rams Head Annapolis on Saturday, November 14th!